Next Month’s Headlines

Elijah Sippel and Meiya Weeks

“‘Have You Done the Wordle Yet?’ Replaces ‘How Are You?’ as 2022’s Top Salutation”

“North Korea’s War Against Water Continues as They Fire Yet Another Missile into the Pacific”

“Singing Valentine Victims Organize Protest at Bagel Benches Amid Lingering Humiliation; ‘Our Human Rights Were Violated'”

“In Attempt to Put Skills to Good Use, US Olympic Curling Team Lists Themselves on Rent-A-Maid.Com”

“College Board Website’s ‘Remember Me’ Button Formally Diagnosed With Amnesia”


This piece also appears in our February 2022 print edition.