Humor Columns – The Register Forum

Opposing Viewpoints, Meaningless Issues: Vest or Cummerbund?

May 30, 2018

The Argument for Vests by Freddie Gould It’s that time of year again: Us beautiful men must go out and acquire the formalwear to wow everyone during p...

“Spoon Game”

May 30, 2018

Sometimes throughout our lives, we take a critical hit And we wonder if a lifetime of hurting is even worth it Well, let me spell out a tale imbued w...

Opposing Viewpoints, Meaningless Issues

January 30, 2018

Chunky Peanut Butter by Ethan Rothenberg Until a couple of months ago, smooth peanut butter was, to me, a relic of a forgotten time—a failed trial ...

Is the Earth Actually Round?

October 30, 2017

In 1492, Christopher Columbus ran into North America while trying to sail across the Atlantic in search of India. Consequently, he allegedly discovered that th...

Advice to the Class of 2018

Sophie Harrington, Contributing Writer

October 30, 2017

Filed under Humor, Humor Columns

Burn as many bridges as you want this year; you can still be friends on Facebook. Challenge yourselves to eat at Angelo’s every day for a month. Apply to at least 35 colleges (obviously all the Ivies). Come naked to school; we don’t have a dress code! Show up to every sporting event just to chant “SENIORS!” Post “Send Point” at least fi...

Fall Headlines

September 28, 2017

Mentor Gets Wisdom Teeth Pulled, Is Unable to Give Freshmen Advice