June 4, 2019
My friend is so funny ... but she’s TOO quiet. I can never hear her I don’t like saying “what” all the time ... it’s so awkward! Lmk
May 1, 2019
Editor’s Note: This new advice column responds to real, anonymous student questions. The answers are satirical and should not be taken seriously.
Cecilia Barron, Editor-in-Chief
February 10, 2019
Filed under Humor, Humor Columns
On Christmas morn they run, down the stairs they go,
Their gallops like reindeers, they quickly peered
For objects as white as the winter snow
So Kanye could be wirelessly hear’d.
November 29, 2018
Cecilia Barron, Editor-in-Chief
September 27, 2018
Filed under Humor, Humor Columns
This past year, great questions have entered the national dialogue that challenge this nation: Who is an American? What is America? How is this nation changing? Why is the rating system in the Register Forum reviews out of four Falcons rather than five? Is America a true democracy?
May 30, 2018
The Argument for Vests
by Freddie Gould
It’s that time of year again: Us beautiful men must go out and acquire the formalwear to wow everyone during p...
May 30, 2018
Sometimes throughout our lives, we take a critical hit
And we wonder if a lifetime of hurting is even worth it
Well, let me spell out a tale imbued w...
January 30, 2018
Chunky Peanut Butter by Ethan Rothenberg
Until a couple of months ago, smooth peanut butter was, to me, a relic of a forgotten time—a failed trial ...
October 30, 2017
In 1492, Christopher Columbus ran into North America while trying to sail across the Atlantic in search of India. Consequently, he allegedly discovered that th...
Sophie Harrington, Contributing Writer
October 30, 2017
Filed under Humor, Humor Columns
Burn as many bridges as you want this year; you can still be friends on Facebook.
Challenge yourselves to eat at Angelo’s every day for a month.
Apply to at least 35 colleges (obviously all the Ivies).
Come naked to school; we don’t have a dress code!
Show up to every sporting event just to chant “SENIORS!”
Post “Send Point” at least fi...
September 28, 2017
Mentor Gets Wisdom Teeth Pulled, Is Unable to Give Freshmen Advice
