“Boy Who’s ‘Only Playing Devil’s Advocate’ and ‘Doesn’t Actually Think This’ Offends Entire Class Once Again”
“Unmatched Genius: When Cornbread Runs Out, Media Caf Substitutes Vanilla Cake”
“Forlorn Freshman Gets Hypothermia Holding Main Door for Entire Student Body”
“Senior Boy Opens Book”
“As Crum...
Which cafeteria is better? —Freshman
This, my friend, is a question that predates you and me: We all recall from Genesis 40:32 when Isaac asks unto Abraham, “Papa, where shall I feast, Maineth or Mediath?” I took the liberty of conducting an unbiased study in which I objectively recorded my experience at each eatery
“Local Hero: Person You’re Walking With Informs You That ‘It’s So Cold!’”
“Getting Greedy: Christian Family Has Chinese Food for Christmas Dinner, Appropriates Jewish Culture”
“Congrats: Girl Informed of Her College Acceptance Through Friend’s Instagram Story”
“Study Finds That Teachers Check Snowdaycalculator.Com 4 Times More Than Students”
...
Hey, I get it, coming up with gift ideas is difficult! I’m sure that your younger cousin will be understanding if they end up with deodorant in their stocking.
If your Invisalign goes missing, check to see if your grandparents are wearing the correct dentures.
Save some money this holiday season! Buy a Canada Goose patch on Amazon (only $9.99), and Duct tape it...
“Clash Over Who Loves Dr. Lam Most Lands 17 Senior Girls in Hospital”
“Study Finds that Average Rindge Student Spends 44% of Time Watching Teacher Trying to Get Projector Up and Running”
“All AP Classes Now Equipped with at Least One Pre-Pubescent Boy”
“Shocking: Whopping ⅛ of Student Body yet to Learn Electromagnetic ...
“How should I learn to bike around Cambridge? Are there certain streets or guidelines to follow besides the obvious ones?”
- Junior, Female
Hey there! We totally feel you on this. We too are avid bikers and, sometimes, it can feel like we’re just not doing a good enough job, especially in a city like Cambridge, where bikes outnumber cars 4:1, according to the ...
Make sure to walk through the halls as slowly as possible, especially when going down the stairs; upperclassmen love this.
Try challenging your friends to go naked to school! There’s no dress code, right?
On Christmas morn they run, down the stairs they go,
Their gallops like reindeers, they quickly peered
For objects as white as the winter snow
So Kanye could be wirelessly hear’d.
