It has been approximately 67 weeks since we last gathered at 459 Broadway. For many, this closure has presented itself as a period of self reflection, a time to ask questions like: “Is there any lunch as nutritious as a bowl of cafeteria pasta?” or “What is the meaning of life?”

 It goes without saying that we all identify ourselves first and foremost as Falcons. We cannot allow this quarantine to wither away at our sense of self. Therefore, we urge you to follow the protocols below to keep your CRLS spirit alive:

1. To keep from missing the Rindge hallway scene, dress your siblings up in AF1s and AirPods and have them walk past you without making eye contact. Do this for four minutes at a time, repeat five times daily.
2. To recreate the feeling of running into people you are trying to avoid, download Tinder. Here, you will awkwardly encounter plenty of your CRLS peers, along with boys named Gunner who love fishing.
3. Place a mouse (from either breeder, pet store, or street) in your light fixture to give your space that certain je ne sais quoi. Other ways to enhance the ambiance of your home include placing an empty Starbucks cup next to your toilet and hanging a poster explaining the risks of Juuling on your bedroom wall.
4. For those who eat lunch at Darwin’s, play a game of Bagel Roulette™. Only put your desired toppings on your bagel 80% of the time to recreate the familiar experience of having your order gotten impossibly wrong.
5. At 2:30 every weekday, stand outside your house and walk aimlessly in search of your friends. If it is cold and rainy, be sure you aren’t wearing a jacket. As per usual, you won’t find anyone to talk to.
6. Employing the elementary acting skills you learned in Drama 1, tell your teacher you aren’t feeling well and that you need to be sent to the nurse during their Zoom lecture. Then, link the boys in the private chat room. Gotem!
7. If you’ve been assigned a research paper, block 50% of useful sources on your home computer. 
8. Notice your computer battery is low during a Zoom class? Fear not! Ask the golden question “Does anyone have a Chromebook charger?” and maintain your status as “that annoying kid.”
9. Find a past spirit week schedule from the CRLS student gov Instagram page (@crls_sga) and dress accordingly. Just as if you were in school, you will be the only person participating.