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“Study Finds that Average Rindge Student Spends 44% of Time Watching Teacher Trying to Get Projector Up and Running”

“All AP Classes Now Equipped with at Least One Pre-Pubescent Boy”

“Shocking: Whopping ⅛ of Student Body yet to Learn Electromagnetic Spectrum Song” 

“New Study Finds that You Actually Looked That Young When You Were a Freshman, Too”

“Breaking: 99% of Seniors Dubbed Themselves ‘Creative’ on Naviance Brag Sheet”

This piece also appears in our October 2019 print edition.