It’s that time of the year again folks, the season of harvest, dying leaves, chapped lips, and pumpkin spice—it’s autumn. While the bustling festivities of Halloween, cute cashmere sweaters, or brand new fall-themed Starbucks drinks are all exciting, as a “professional” food enthusiast, I find myself most excited for the grease-filled and indulgent feast Thanksgiving will bring. This article is for the unfortunate souls who have never experienced an authentic American Thanksgiving dinner or for the passionate connoisseurs who will most certainly be disappointed.
Macaroni and Cheese: 1.5/5 Falcons
I’ll be breaking hearts with this one; I don’t like mac and cheese. The fact that it’s just cheese and shaped noodles gives me so much flavor fatigue. There are no fun textures, and no fun flavors, it’s just cheese and some more cheese. If macaroni and cheese is your favorite food, I’m sorry, but are you 10? Just kidding, I don’t actually mean that.
Sweet Potato Casserole: 2.5/5 Falcons
A bit questionable. Among dishes slathered with butter and salt, we have another dish slathered in butter, but this time, it’s filled with sugar. The marshmallows are fun, and if the sweet potato part isn’t too sweet, it’s very pleasant. I just don’t think it fits too well with everything else.
Cranberry Sauce: 2.75/5 Falcons
The sweet, slightly bitter, and sour aftertaste pairs perfectly with roasted meats and all sorts of savory dishes. It’s a great palate cleanser after you’ve had a big bite of salty turkey, gravy, and stuffing—not to mention how pretty it is. People don’t give cranberry sauce enough credit. Unfortunately, it’s just sauce in the end. I love gravy but if it were on this list, it would also receive a similar score.
Turkey: 3/5 Falcons
The star of the show, the symbol, the key player—except, nobody likes it that much. Turkey is synonymous with Thanksgiving for most people because of Benjamin Franklin and a silly myth used to cover up the bloody tracks of colonialism. It ends up only ever eaten during Thanksgiving because, despite its laborious preparation time, it mostly ends up tasting like a stinkier, drier chicken. However, when cooked correctly, it’s tender and moist with a slight smokiness reminiscent of ham. Is it better than chicken? Debatable. I will admit though, the only reason it has this high of a rating is because of how iconic and pretty it is.
Brussels Sprouts: 4/5 Falcons
They’re leafy green, and usually cooked with a thin layer of seasonings and butter. Nothing can go wrong with a couple of vegetables, and to be quite honest, it’s probably one of the only things on this list with substantial nutritional value. My family usually serves them with asparagus, and those two make a mighty pair.
Stuffing: 5/5 Falcons
I am completely convinced that if you don’t like stuffing, it’s probably because you’ve never had good stuffing before. Good stuffing is slightly moist and airy, with the faint aromatics of various herbs and the occasional added crunch of veggies. Stuffing is great; it’s what holds the feast together and I absolutely must always have it during Thanksgiving, otherwise I might implode.
