Mid-September, I went out with some friends to go see the new horror comedy film Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. When I left, I found the only thing that haunted me about the movie was its dead plot. Going into Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, I had abundant faith—faith that even in a time of money-craving sequels being turned out faster than you can say ‘Beetlejuice’ three times. This movie would be different. This faith was instilled in me by cinema legends co-signing the project, such as Micheal Keaton, Winona Ryder, and the mayor of Halloweentown himself, Tim Burton.
It wasn’t just me who carried this faith. Beetlejuice, unlike many of the franchise sequels being released right now, is actually still quite culturally relevant thanks to its Broadway smash hit musical. The musical has been running from 2018 to now and has been nominated for nine Tonys, garnering critical success and a cult following.
Micheal Keaton’s performance as Beetlejuice felt tired and hollow. It took me at least half an hour to adjust to his gargle accent, and once I finally did, I found his jokes to be lacking in humor and quality: a mix between poorly done dirty comedy and terribly executed callbacks to the original movie. Winona Ryder’s acting was as flat as her singing performance in the final songs. Both lacked any emotional depth. It was troubling to see this once revered actress give such a poor performance while reprising her iconic role of Lydia especially in a film that’s supposed to be a big return for her character. On the other hand, in her role as Ryder’s movie daughter, Astrid Deetz, Jenna Ortega cemented her status as the up and coming “goth girl.”
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice’s biggest failure was its writing. Never have I ever watched a more nonsensical, convoluted movie. Throughout its runtime—which I can not stress enough was far too long for its own good—I found myself wandering along subplots and veering from the main movie continuum. As new plot points were brought up, the only thought I had left echoing in my brain was “Why do I care?” The only draw to this experience was its visuals, the differences in environments in the movie are represented well, and deliberately, you can see Burton’s influence very clearly. Unfortunately, this is where his influences appear to stop, or at least stop being good. The directing and editing of this move are a poorly paired duo that leave the movie feeling rushed at certain points and sedate at others. The ending, or lack of, was by far the most baffling part, consisting of poorly timed jokes, a musical number, and an unresolved plot which was clearly supposed to leave me yearning for a threequel; it instead left me yearning to leave the theater.
Overall, I rate Beetlejuice Beetlejuice one Falcon Star out of five for the numerous reasons mentioned, and as an act of vengeance for the one hour and forty-four minutes of my life that I will never get back.
