“90% of Students Will Accidentally Step On Their Soulmate in the Second-Floor Rindge Hallway Sometime Before Graduating”
“Insider Exposes the Black Market of Bagel Bench Sales”
“‘Help Texas Succeed’ Go-Fund-Me Grosses 8 Billion Dollars in One Week”
“‘90% Soulmate Statistic’ Shown to be Fabricated by CRLS Student Government to Promote ‘Perfect Match’ Quiz”
“Nikki Haley Joins the Fight for Gender Equality, Becoming the First Woman to be Absolutely Demolished in a Presidential Campaign”
“The FAFSA is Currently Taking a Gap Year”
This piece also appears in our February 2024 print edition.
