With spring comes the Spoon Game, and with the Spoon Game comes stress, panic, and silly little outfits. By March, senioritis has surely set in, so what better to do with your time than carry around the worst form of plastic cutlery during every waking moment? Let’s take a look.

Senior 1 (overly invested in the Spoon Game): Let’s sign up for the Spoon Game!

Senior 2 (didn’t sign up and couldn’t care less): Ew, no! Are you out of your mind?

Senior 1: Dude, the prize is literally $750.

Senior 2: Are hundreds and hundreds of dollars really worth holding a freshman’s grimey hand?

Senior 1: College is pretty pricey nowadays…

Senior 2: Still definitely not worth the public humiliation, and besides, what makes you think you’ll even make it that far?

Senior 1: I’m slightly offended… But the challenges aren’t even that bad!

Senior 2: I beg to differ, you have to skip around school for a whole day.

Senior 1: So what? It’s only for one day.

Senior 2: Fine, skipping around school isn’t that bad, but then you’ve got Dogs Out day. I’m not tryna smell everyone’s feet and see everyone’s toes all day long.

Senior 1: I’m gonna enter, and you bet I’m gonna win that $750.

Senior 2: All I ask is for you to do some serious introspection. Is it worth it?

This article also appears in our April 2023 print edition.