Next Month’s Headlines

Editorial Note: The following is a work of EDITORIAL SATIRE and does not represent the views of the Register Forum

Lily Grodzins, Games & Humor Editor

Donald Trump Changes Bio to “ACAB” Following Arrest

Governor DeSantis Revises School Curriculum, Says the Pyramids Were Built by Aliens

Taylor Swift and Easter Bunny Collab To Lower Egg Prices 

On “National Divorce”: Mom Says It’s Your Fault 

Florida Parents React to Images of Jesus on the Cross: “There Is No Reason for Him To Be Shirtless Like That” 

This article also appears in our April 2023 print edition.