Welcome to this exclusive behind-the-scenes look into my interviews with some of the world’s most renowned figures. I’m glad that my hard work could take the Register Forum to these internationally recognized heights. Follow me in a day in my life, with people who made their schedules work around me, and not vice versa.

I started my Monday with a book talk.

RF: What is the first book you ever read and how did it lead to you becoming an author?

Author: To be honest, I don’t really rememb—

RF: It was The Cat In the Hat. What is the word that you used the most in your novels?

Author: Uh, I don’t think I’ve been keeping tra—

RF: It’s “and.” Who is the best author in the world?

Author: Well, I’ve gotten so much inspiration from Ta-Nehisi Coates throughout my life, and—

RF: Wrong. It’s Shakespeare. 

After lunch, I took a Greyhound to the White House.

RF: So it says here that you’re a professional politician for a living.

Joe Biden: Yes.

RF: What’s your favorite country in the whole wide world?

Meeting the President made me want to go to jail.

RF: How’s the crime business going these days?

Alcatraz Prisoner: Not great, but I’ve been advising my pals from home and we’re confident about getting through these tough times and coming out on top.

RF: How’s the ol’ ball and chain doing at home?

Alcatraz Prisoner: Haha, I see what you did there. She’s having a great time raising our daughter.

After an afternoon snack, I walked to Argentina. 

RF: I’m sure our listeners would love to hear all about how you led Argentina to a picturesque victory in the World Cup, but I have to ask: que te pasa, calabaza?

Messi: Nada nada, limonada.

This piece also appears in our January 2023 print edition.