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The Official Guide to Finding the CRLS Wi-Fi Password

Chanho Lee, Contributing Writer

Editorial Note: The following are of EDITORIAL SATIRE and do not represent the views of the Register Forum.

There have been rumors that, in the past month, over 1,300 unknown devices were connected to the CRLS Guest Wi-Fi. Not one of these people? Don’t fret! This guide is all you need to obtain the password to the guest-access Wi-Fi in the most efficient way possible.

1. Go to class

Surviving a regular day at CRLS and interacting with others may be hard at times, but it will definitely pay off, since there is a high chance that people already know the password. You probably think once people find out, they will gatekeep the password, but this is not the case. You will be exposed to many supportive peers who are dying to give you the password. By showing up to class, you already upped your chances by 100%. 

2. Ask your teachers, gaslight if necessary 

Although most teachers play dumb and claim to be uninformed of the Wi-Fi password, they for sure have it laying around in their emails they never open, and it can’t hurt to ask. Aside from school Chromebooks, how else would you do quick math calculations, secretly watch the World Cup, or plan to skip second period with friends? But don’t forget to prepare an iced latte prior to the request, in case they are feeling more stubborn than usual.

3. Speed-run into classrooms

But before you go running into every class you see, save your strength with this insider tip: find the coolest staff members in the building. They can often be found in the second floor of the main building, or any classrooms in the arts building, specifically in rooms 2314 and 2602. If anyone is willing to give up the password, it will be these adults.

4. Find via social media

If you haven’t managed to find the Wi-Fi yet, this step will be your best bet. By scrolling through Instagram and Snapchat stories, and even through the Twitter and Facebook timeline, you are bound to find at least one post that includes the password. Sometimes you just have to let the work do the work for you.

5. Enroll in a RSTA class

With the wide range of opportunities offered, take any RSTA class that interests you. Many of these classes have the Wi-Fi password as a free perk! Additional perks of taking these classes also include career expansion and finding the right path for your life, both of which clearly pale in comparison to Wi-Fi connection. If somehow, the course doesn’t include your free Wi-Fi bonus, don’t fear! Learn the ways to hack into the CRLS internet system through your advanced intel by taking these classes.

This piece also appears in our December 2022 print edition.

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The Official Guide to Finding the CRLS Wi-Fi Password