I’ve just been fed a delicious puree of locally sourced organic baby carrots. I’m going to vomit now.

I’m on a delightful spring stroll with my parents. My allergist predicts I won’t have pollen allergies now or ever, and my pediatrician predicts I’ll reach a strong and tall height of 6’1”. I’m going to vomit now.

Mom just asked Dad what he wanted from the grocery store and he said “Svedka”. I don’t know how to spell yet, that’s my best guess. I’m going to vomit now.