The latest VIRAL TREND to hit the internet is Wordle, an online puzzle game that requires USERS to GUESS five letter WORDS with six tries, UNTIL they get to the word of the day.

Released in October 2021 and developed by Josh Wardle, the game became popular recently. It was even bought by the New York TIMES for a “low SEVEN figure sum” at the end of January. Wordle wins and frustrations are commonplace now on social MEDIA as the game has gained traction. Despite the game’s significant internet presence, the word of the day, picked from a 2,315-word list, is kept largely confidential on the internet.

Some conspiracy theorists THINK that the WORDS SPELL out a message. In discussions with avid Wordlers, some compelling IDEAS have emerged. “What if this is our generation’s National Treasure? Democracy is in shambles and the WORLD is falling APART,” said one anonymous free-thinker. “Our parents call us screenagers, but what if Mr. Wardle is revealing the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?” Upon investigation, the daily solutions TRULY appear random, but we haven’t yet explored EVERY avenue of potential ciphers. We reached out to Nicolas Cage for help, but he’s too busy making a MOVIE ABOUT himself—classic Nic Cage.

With Wordle’s success come new spin-offs, like Sweardle, WHOSE word answer pool allows only four-letter SWEAR WORDS. Absurdle is an iteration WHERE the answer changes depending on your GUESS to make it as difficult as possible. Other versions include infinite Wordle, WHERE you can attempt more than one puzzle a day. CRLS student Kelton Aldridge argues that versions with more than one puzzle a day ruin the fun. Despite all of CRLS student Jeremy Kravitz’s practice on infinite Wordle, he still likes to BLAME the game EVERY time it TAKES him six TRIES. Unlike Jeremy, Kelton plays on easy mode and therefore has no say in how the game should actually be played. However, it’s better than BEING the absolute scum of the EARTH: someone who claims they guessed it in one try, spoils the word of the day in the hallways, guesses it correctly for the WHOLE CLASS AFTER already completing it for the day, or PLAYS on LIGHT mode.

Professional Wordlers will note that the best FIRST guesses include many vowels and frequently-appearing consonants. On the contrary, relaxed Wordlers MIGHT take the more personal approach of Wordle poetry, choosing WORDS that create a narrative or sum up how they’re feeling that day. For instance, PANIC would be fitting for a test day WHERE one forgot to STUDY. On the weekend, one student MIGHT START with the word CHILL to encapsulate THEIR feelings. On Valentine’s Day, HEART or LOVER could be good options, and if you have OTHER IDEAS, feel free to SLIDE into Jeremy’s DMs. However, once the New York Times monetizes Wordle, be prepared for the rise of crossword puzzles, as they are already captivating English teachers and students ALIKE.

This piece also appears in our February 2022 print edition.