1. Hey, I get it, coming up with gift ideas is difficult! I’m sure that your younger cousin will be understanding if they end up with deodorant in their stocking.
2. If your Invisalign goes missing, check to see if your grandparents are wearing the correct dentures.
3. Save some money this holiday season! Buy a Canada Goose patch on Amazon (only $9.99), and Duct tape it to that coat of yours. DIY couture.
4. If your New Year’s resolution is to read more, try turning on the subtitles for your TV.
5. And if you can’t quit all your bad habits for the new year, that’s OKAY. No one likes a quitter anyways.
6. Finally, if Santa leaves you with coal in your stocking, next year try erasing your browser history.

This piece also appears in our December 2019 print edition.