Put cellophane on a trash can so that when your friend tries to throw something away they always fail!
Tie a dollar bill to a string and make your friend chase it around!
Blur your friend’s phone’s screen in a layer of krazy glue to make them think they are experiencing near sightedness.
Make delicious chocolate chip cookies with tablespoons of vanilla instead of teaspoons of vanilla; the cookies won’t have lived up to their full potential!
Call your friend “Ulysses S. Grant,” instead of their real name so they think they are the deceased general and former president Grant.
Collect pictures of your friend’s general practitioner that they would rather the world not see, then delete them if they administer an eye test with blurred eye charts.
Gift your friend a white elephant.
While your friend sleeps, use a high powered laser to cause retinal damage and vision loss.
Set your friend’s alarm 30 minutes forward!
Realize you have no friends.